Gone Was I

how does one overcome being drained out?

I used to be quick, I used to be heat,

With a rhythm that pounded in time with my feet.

I chased every path and life felt so fun,

Always looking for battles that had to be won.

But the fire has flickered and turned into gray,

And the "wanting" has quietly drifted away.

Now I’m just a vessel for hours and glass,

Watching the shadows of everything pass.

The "must" and the "should" have all lost their teeth,

Leaving nothing but dead silence beneath.

I’m a ghost in a race that I’ve forgotten to run,

Staring down at the work that will never be done.

It’s not that I’m tired or needing a bed,

It’s a stillness that’s settled inside of my head.

The color is draining from every bright dream,

And the snow on the ground has lost its gleam.

I reach for the lever, I reach for the light,

But my fingers are numb and the grip isn't tight.

The world is a movie that’s playing on mute,

And the tree is too weary to carry its fruit.

They ask where I’ve gone and they ask what I’ve found,

But I’m just a weight that is hugging the ground.

I’ve stopped fighting gravity, stopped checking the time,

In a mountain of life that I’m struggling to climb.

I’m letting the dust settle thick on the shelf,

Of the person I promised I’d make of myself.

There’s no grand explosion, no breaking in two,

Just a slow, steady fading of everything true.

The engine is quiet, the water is still,

And I’ve finally run out of the ghost of a will.

I’m sitting right here, but the me is long gone,

Waiting for nothing to turn into dawn.